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autism tips

3 Tips for Making Valentine’s Day Special for Your Autistic Child

February 10, 2023 by Total Spectrum

As store shelves turn to masses of pink and red, some people get excited and others groan. Valentine’s Day, with all of its joy and complexities, is around the corner. Although love and social connection are important to everyone, Valentine’s Day can be tricky to navigate for many people, including some of our autistic loved ones. Different ages bring different challenges: from the drama of classroom valentine exchanges to the heart-stopping anxiety of having a date. Wherever your child may fall on this continuum of V-Day Life Lessons, a few considerations can help them feel cherished on this day.

Prepare

Consider the potential challenges that your child might encounter that could be helped by some advance skill-building. Think carefully about what your child will encounter that day and what easily-acquired skills might help them enjoy the day more. A younger child whose class is exchanging valentines might benefit from practice; find out how the teacher will approach this (will the kids deposit them into a box or hand them out individually?) and rehearse in advance. A teen attending a dance might benefit from a social story about what to expect, previewing conversation starters, and maybe watching some realistic shows depicting teen dances to help set expectations. If anxiety is a factor (as it can be with anyone of any age!), make sure there is an easy way for them to contact you for an early pick-up. For safety, teens and young adults who are dating should have information about consent and sexual harassment at a level they can understand. Learning about good hygiene practices, manners, and general dating “dos and don’ts” can help to set them up for success.

Accommodate

There will also be challenges on Valentine’s Day that can’t be solved by skill-building. Consider your child’s experience and be creative about the types of accommodations that might help them enjoy the day the most. If your child is on a special diet, find out if there will be school treats so you can arrange for something yummy for your little one. Some children will not enjoy the “typical” Valentine’s Day activities. Remember, it’s once a year, don’t stress over making them go to a class party they won’t enjoy. There may be accommodations that can help make regular activities okay (headphones), or you can simply ditch the regular valentines’ stuff and think of some fun alternatives instead. Perhaps instead of going to the dance, they can rather invite a friend over to bake brownies or watch a movie with their sibling.

Love

Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to show others how much you care. As a parent or caregiver, showing affection for our children is one of the most fulfilling experiences. Think about your child’s preferences and give them a token of your love, whether that be treats, attention, a new Lego set, or a special rock. Giving them choices in preparing for the day (e.g., picking out valentines, choosing a special dessert, etc.), thinking about how to include their preferred interests in your plans, and making plans to accommodate sensory needs can communicate your love and respect.

Some profoundly affected autistic folks will not be affected by the fact the world has turned pink and red; they may not understand or care. But this doesn’t prevent them from receiving your love and affection in the ways they do the rest of the year, so take the opportunity to connect with them on their level. Many autistic folks tend to anthropomorphize; if there are things (e.g., trains, books, electronic devices, etc.) that are the object of your child’s affection, think about how to celebrate these objects that give your child joy.

For those autistic children who understand the social nuances of Valentine’s Day, it can create pressure around feelings of popularity and acceptance. If your child is experiencing these common hardships, do your best to shift the emphasis away from romantic love and toward other satisfying relationships in your child’s life. For some, that may be a friend, or for others, it may be family. Reassurance that they are accepted at home and loved unconditionally is paramount.

Have Happy Valentine’s Day!

Last but not least: show yourself some love as well. Parenting isn’t easy and requires many qualities, including patience, empathy, and, most importantly, love. The love we give our children isn’t always returned in the moment, making it hard sometimes to reflect on all the wonderful things you do for your child. Remember, you’re raising a human, which is stressful yet important and incredible work. As you nurture your relationship with your child, you build their capacity to love and show love to others. This Valentine’s Day, take some credit for all you do for your child in the name of love and find a way to treat yourself, whether that means setting aside time to read or exercise, getting an extra hour of sleep, or calling a friend. You deserve just as much love on this special day.

For research-backed strategies on managing stress, check out “How Parents and Caregivers of Kids with Autism Cope with Stress.” To dive deeper into the topic of love and autism, learn more at “Myth: People with Autism Don’t Feel Love.”

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: Accommodate, Autism, Autism love, autism tips, Autistic, Express love, Love, Loved, Parenting tips, Teach, V-Day, Valentine's Day, Valentines

Creating a Successful Holiday for Children with Autism

December 16, 2021 by Total Spectrum Leave a Comment

All Autism Talk hosts Kathrine Johnson and Richie Ploesch, sit down to discuss strategies and tips to support a happy, safe, and fun holiday experience for children with autism. As Katherine shared, “When kids know what to expect, it can really help them regulate… and leaving space to let them have a choice and downtime can really help.”

For more helpful family tips all year round visit:

https://www.learnbehavioral.com/parentresources

https://www.facebook.com/learnbehavioral

https://www.youtube.com/c/Autismtherapies

Interested in ABA services for your child? Contact Us: https://lrnbvr.com/contact

Interested in a career in the ABA field? Apply Now: https://lrnbvr.com/apply-now

All Autism Talk (allautismtalk.com) is sponsored by LEARN Behavioral (learnbehavioral.com).

Filed Under: Podcast Tagged With: All Autism Talk, Autism Podcast, autism tips, Family with Special Needs, Helpful, Holiday Tips, Katherine Johnson, Navigating Holidays, Parent Tips, Richie Ploesch, Successful holiday for children

Transitioning to Summer: 5 Tips to Make It a Success

May 28, 2021 by Total Spectrum

by Elizabeth Jeffrey-Arceneaux, M.S., BCBA
Autism Spectrum Therapies (AST), Louisiana

With summer fast approaching, the increased time for preferred activities may be a point for joy and satisfaction, but this can also challenge parents as they attempt to transition kids from necessary tasks and activities. Most children, particularly those with autism, benefit from structure and routine in their schedule.

One of the reasons summer can create a challenge is that routines shift dramatically—or disappear altogether. This is further exasperated by the changing protocols of the pandemic, where we wear masks and stand six feet apart one day, only to loosen the mask mandate and stand three feet apart the next.

There are things you can do, however, to ease this transition and keep your child engaged this summer. Consider these five tips:

Only Take On What You Can Manage

For starters, understand what will allow your child to thrive and what you, as a parent or caregiver, can manage. Professionally, I’ve spoken to many parents who feel tired and frustrated—mostly due to their tendency to take on more than they have the time and energy to manage.

While it’s important to provide opportunities for your child, be careful of overdoing it and creating stress for yourself—and the whole family. Strategize and play to your child’s strengths.

Prioritize Activities

To avoid taking on more than your family can handle, you first need to realize that you can’t do everything—and need to prioritize. Decide the three most important things to you, as a parent or caregiver who knows your child and family well, and plan around those goals. For example, your goals might be to increase education, family fun, and time outside.

With your top three priorities identified, seek out resources to meet those goals. For example, many states offer an extended school year (ESY) option for children with disabilities. This program varies across the United States but provides a way to maintain educational activities at no cost to parents and caregivers in the same school system your child normally attends. Another option might be increased therapy time.

Often, you can find fun things to do with your family by attending events in your city. Many cities, in fact, host particular days in which children with autism or sensory sensitivity are given priority. In Louisiana, where I live, zoos, libraries, and other places host sensory days. These can be a great introduction to new activities. It might take research and planning, but doing so can help your child and family cultivate a wider array of interests.

Spend Time Outdoors

As my colleague, Genevieve Marshall, recently discussed on our blog, time in nature is good for all of us, particularly kids with autism. In fact, many children with autism enjoy water play, which you can set up outdoors, even without access to a pool. Simply fill up bowls or an inflatable pool, and give your child a mix of cups and utensils to interact with water in various ways.

Kids Playing On Beach. Children Play At Sea.

I keep a running list of outdoor sensory activities for my own children that includes:

  • tinting water with food coloring
  • mixing water with sand
  • making mud pies
  • drawing with sidewalk chalk
  • collecting and painting rocks (or simply setting up an easel and paints outdoors)
  • blowing bubbles (and making homemade bubbles)
  • picking flowers or weeds

The list goes on. These activities engage children on a sensory level, while allowing kids to spend essential time outside.

Plan—But Plan Flexibly

Although it’s critical to plan as much as possible for summer, it’s also important to accept and expect that you will need to be flexible. Often, programs like ESY and accessible summer camps don’t last the entire day. You can fill in unstructured time by having a loose schedule in place anchored by sleep, snack, and highly preferred break activities. Consider, too, using a visual aid and timer as you transition between activities, and do your best to stay consistent (and flexible!) across days.

Acknowledge Differences

If you have more than one child, realize and expect that your children are different, and prepare accordingly. For example, I have two toddlers. My youngest, at age two, typically is a wild and reckless toddler who loves new things, fireworks, and getting dirty. At the beach, he holds his father’s hand and loves hearing the ocean and feeling it cover his feet. He doesn’t mind varied environments with different sounds and senses.

My oldest, now three, hates fireworks and covers her ears. All loud noises cause her distress, particularly when unexpected. She loves playing in the sand at the beach but cries that the ocean is too loud. She also hates and refuses to walk across reflective floors. Instead of forcing her to fall in line and like the same things her brother likes, I give her earphones and encourage her to enjoy things from afar. I accept and honor their differences.

As you gear up for what we anticipate will be a more relaxed, open summer than last year, due to the pandemic, keep in mind that planning, prioritizing, and concentrating on what matters most to you and your family are key. Remember, too, that your time and energy are limited. Resist the urge to overschedule your family, and know that downtime is good for us all.

For more tips on helping your child with transitions, read “Easing Your Child Back Into Life Post-Pandemic.”

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: autism routines, autism tips, autism transitions, parent tips autism, summer routines

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